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Babylon Bee Spoofs Our Glorious Industry

For those who’ve been asleep most of the year, The Babylon Bee is a relatively recent arrival to the Christian satire genre which has taken the Evangelical world by storm with its uncanny insights into our wonderful subculture. Normally we wouldn’t re-blog an entire article here (we’d leave crime like that for our other blogs, Thinking Out Loud and Christianity 201) but (a) this time it’s our corner of the world — Christian publishing — in the spotlight and (b) you guys are gonna play nice and click the title link below to read this at source. Not here. Why are you still reading?

Of all the top book lists you read this month, this is definitely going to be one of them.

Top Ten Books Of 2016

It’s the end of the year already, and that means it’s time to count down the very best books of 2016.

Using The Babylon Bee‘s proprietary book analysis algorithm, we managed to cut through the chaff of the millions of terrible books released this year, with only the elect few making our definitive, authoritative top ten

10.) We Can’t Dance If We Want To: Living In Holiness — John MacArthur: MacArthur excellently builds a scriptural case against rhythmic movements of any kind, especially in church. Readers will leave this book with a renewed sense of reverence, and a fear of taking their hands out of their pockets for any reason.

9.) ? — Rob Bell: “I was thinking about what I wanted my new book to convey,” Bell said thoughtfully in a short YouTube video designed to promote the May release of New York Times bestseller ?. “And it suddenly hit me—I really have no idea. I mean, about anything.” This masterful work features thousands of question marks arranged on each page in no discernible order, as well as several chapters written in Sanskrit.

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8.) Royalty Checks Are For Real — Todd Burpo: Burpo’s inspirational work will encourage your faith that six, even seven-figure book deals aren’t just fantasy—they’re very, very real. A gripping read from start to finish.

7.) Hyphenating To The Glory Of God — John Piper: Piper focuses with white-hot, laser-like intensity on, as he puts it, “the all-other-punctuation-mark-surpassing splendor” of the hyphen. Soul-stirring and paradigm-shattering, you should not miss this all-too-important, not-exactly-like-his-usual-books-but-still-vintage-John-Piper work.

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6.) Worldview: The Worldview: Worldview Edition — Al Mohler: Al Mohler is right in his wheelhouse when writing about worldviews, and his latest work, Worldview: The Worldview: Worldview Edition is an excellent guide to worldviews and the worldviews that view them in the world.

5.) The Case for Calzones — Lee Strobel: While Strobel is known for his work in layman-level apologetics, few people are aware that Strobel is also a passionate apologist for Italian folded pizzas. In The Case for Calzones, Strobel flawlessly defends the dish while remaining highly readable. The book is peppered with witty anecdotes and lively interviews with top food experts from around the world.

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4.) I Just Can’t Even With The Proper Doctrine You Guys — Jen Hatmaker: Encouraging readers to think of the book as “a big squishy hug,” Hatmaker uses her trademark conversational writing style to admonish all of us to “just be real, you know, and be true to our feelings, especially with things like theology and doctrine and I just can’t even.” A real page-turner.

3.) The Purpose Driven Ferret — Rick Warren: While fans of the Purpose Driven series have hundreds of variants to choose from, Rick Warren may have outdone himself with this special edition of The Purpose Driven Life, written exclusively for the close cousin of the polecat. Your ferret will love learning how to fulfill its God-given purpose as Warren masterfully uses over 250 different translations of the Bible to drive home his point.

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2.) Get Out Of Debt By Selling Millions Of Books — Dave Ramsey: Financial guru Dave Ramsey shows Christians how to pay off debt, put money in the bank, and live happily ever after. His plan includes detailed steps on how to get people to buy millions of your books that mostly say the same thing, so you’ll become a millionaire too. Just don’t buy this one on a credit card!

1.) Whatever Tim Keller wrote, probably: Honestly, we didn’t read any Tim Keller books this year. But we’re sure that whatever he wrote was pretty good. So the number 1 book of the year is whatever he wrote. Pick your favorite and put it in this slot. Congratulations, Tim!

Honorable Mentions:
Radical, Bro — David Platt
Rolling Around In The Mud And Shooting Stuff For Jesus — John Eldredge
Jesus Snapchatting — Sarah Young

There you have it. What were your favorite books of the year? Let us know by saying them out loud to your computer screen.


For more publishing related satire from The Babylon Bee, click this link.

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